


a love like war

by heroicgay



Category: The Maze Runner (Movies), The Maze Runner Series - All Media Types, The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Assassins & Hitmen, Blood and Violence, Heavy Angst, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Minor Character Death, alternatively can be titled 'expressing my angsty and dramatic desires', because it kind of goes There but not really, kind of, newt is a villain, thomas is an assassin, though you should expect that tbh, will not be continued
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-09
Updated: 2018-05-30
Packaged: 2019-05-04 12:36:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14593170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heroicgay/pseuds/heroicgay
Summary: Thomas has been happily dating Newt for over a year and lately he's been worrying about what will happen when he reveals his true career -- an assassin that operates under the order of the government. What he'd never expected was that his next target would actually be his boyfriend who has been secretly working with a gang known as Wicked.** THIS FIC WILL NOT BE CONTINUED. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.





	1. Chapter 1

    “Brenda, where the hell is Thomas? This is the first breakthrough we’ve had on this case in a long time. He’s our best shot at taking this guy out. I need you to get him here,” Jorge instructed as he organized a file to give Thomas in order to brief himself on the latest target.

Brenda rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest. “If I knew, don’t you think I’d have him here? I’ve been trying to reach out but we all knew he was going off on a vacation and he kind of warned us that he’d be completely off the grid,” She pointed out.

Jorge frowned. “He’s really making me regret agreeing to let him keep his personal life completely private and out of the books. We need him.”

“Yeah, you’ve said that a billion times,” She scoffed. “All you’ve got is a name and a face, though. Nobody knows where that guy is, either, which could be a good thing because he won’t run if he doesn’t suspect anyone is on his trail. Thomas’ll be back soon enough. Quit stressing out about it.”

“I hope you’re right, Bren. I really hope you’re right,” The man sighed as he gathered his papers and left the room.

—

Thomas tossed the duffle bags in his hands down on the apartment floor, turning to face his boyfriend with a gentle smile pulling at the corners of his lips. It was kind of a bittersweet thing to be home. Sweet because they missed the city and all of their friends yet bitter because their vacation was over and that meant going back to work. The thing about Thomas’ job was that it had an extremely demanding schedule and he could never explain to Newt why that was. At least not really. Newt thought he worked at his father's law firm. It was the only way to explain the files he was constantly reading, the late nights on the computer, and all the phone calls that tended to interrupt rather intimate moments. There was a large strain on their relationship because of it. Technically he didn’t _have_ to hide his career, it’s just that being a government operated assassin has risks and he knew that involving Newt would most likely do him more harm than good. Also, there’s the whole not knowing how he’d react thing. So, yeah. He figured he’d tell Newt eventually when he figured out the proper timing.

“Earth to Shaggy,” Newt teased as he ruffled Thomas’ hair with a chuckle, “You okay, space cadet? You’ve kind of just been staring at me with this _look_. And not the sex look, which is only slightly disappointing after that plane ride.”

Thomas ducked his head, letting his hair fall into his face to hide the blush rising on his cheeks. “First off, if you keep calling me Shaggy, I’m cutting my hair. Second, I’m more than okay, just kind of bummed that our vacation is over. And third? You might have a sex problem because I’m pretty sure we went at it more times in the last day than most couples do in their whole relationship.”

“That’s a lie, you enjoy me playing with it too much. And vacation isn’t technically over until you go back to the firm,” Newt pointed out, taking a step closer to the brunette. “Also, I have to disagree with your third point. I don’t have a sex problem, I have an insanely attractive boyfriend problem. There’s a difference. You can’t blame me for never wanting to take my hands off you. Besides, I’m making up for lost time.”

The blonde’s fingers toyed with the hem of the other’s shirt, slowly pushing it up his abdomen with a quirked brow. It was almost like he was challenging Thomas to resist despite knowing he never could. The second Newt’s hands made contact with him he practically went on autopilot. It kind of scared him to know someone had that much power over him when daily it was being drilled into him to never have any weaknesses and to always have your guard up, but he trusted Newt with his life which was saying a lot considering he didn’t trust easily.

Thomas raised his arms, letting Newt pull his shirt completely off before resting his hands on the small of his lovers back, pulling him in so their bodies were nearly pressed together. Within seconds their lips were connecting in a passionate kiss. Newt’s fingers had found their way into Thomas’ hair, tugging at the long strands and earning a satisfied moan from the other. They were like two flames sparking off one another. It wasn’t until Thomas pushed Newt against the wall that they broke apart, the blonde being the one to break the contact with an intrigued expression.

“And what do you think you’re doing?” Newt questioned, head cocked to the side before swiftly switching up their position so that it was the brunette trapped between the wall instead. “We both know you love it when I take control.”

“I love you in general,” Thomas replied, earning an eye roll from the other.

“You’re only saying that because I’m about to give you the best blowjob of your life.”

“You already have done that. Dozens of times.”

Newt laughed softly at that, quickly pecking Thomas’ lips as he worked to undo his belt. He sunk to his knees before freeing the boy from his boxers, expression darkening a bit. Teasingly he nipped at the flesh above Thomas’ hip bone, causing the brunette to thrust forward slightly, eyes squeezed shut in anticipation. Except, because apparently some higher power in the universe absolutely despised the couple, the ringtone of Thomas’ work phone was interrupting them before they could truly get things going.

“Let it go to voicemail,” Newt said, tone almost pleading.

This wasn’t the first time they’d been interrupted by work and it certainly wouldn’t be the last time, either. Of course that never made it less infuriating and was part of the reason they took their vacation in the first place. Newt had told Thomas he felt as though they were growing distant and like he wasn’t as important as he use to be. He never wanted his boyfriend to feel that way but at the same time he couldn’t just refuse work despite wishing he sometimes could. It definitely wasn’t easy to balance a “professional” and personal life.

“You know I can’t,” Thomas sighed. Newt didn’t put up a fight although the disappointment was written all over his face.

Thomas pulled up his boxers and walked over to where their bags sat on the ground, digging through his until he located his work phone. He glanced back at Newt (who was now sat with his back against the wall and avoiding Thomas’ gaze) with a frown before tapping the screen to answer and putting the phone up to his ear.

It was Brenda’s voice that filtered through the speaker. “Thomas! Shit, I’ve been calling you like crazy. Please tell me you’re back from vacation.”

“I just got back a little bit ago. What’s up?”

“We’ve finally got a lead on Wicked. You have to come in as soon as possible otherwise Jorge’s gonna lose it. He’s already got a file prepped for you on the target. He really thinks that once this guy gets taken out, the whole operation will begin to unravel.”

Wicked was an enemy group that had cropped up out of practically nowhere in the last few months. Thomas really didn’t know much about them because Jorge had told him it wouldn’t concern him until it came to getting their hands bloody. He knew that they were bad, though. A lot of the recent criminal cases that the cops hadn’t been able to solve were Wicked’s doing, including murders of seemingly innocent citizens. It was thought to be some kind of statement though they didn’t really know what for. Either way, whatever it was, it was bad and the department he operated under had been put in complete charge of handling it. For Thomas, that meant putting a bullet through their heads before it could escalate into something more.

“I’ll be there soon,” He replied simply, hanging up the call. Then he was gathering his clothing, quickly redressing.

“So, what, you’re just leaving?” Newt asked, standing up with arms crossed over his chest, irritation clear in his voice and stance.

“I wouldn’t if I didn’t have to. It’s urgent, Newt,” Thomas reasoned.

“Are you kidding me? We _just_ got home. You told me that we’d still have a few days to ourselves. You **promised.** ”

A pang of guilt came over him at that. It was true, he _had_ promised. But this was just as important for them as it was for everyone else. Wicked was building forces as they spoke and the longer they were out there, the more dangerous things got. Nobody was safe. This was the only way he could really protect the one thing he cared about.

“Newt, I’m sorry,” He whispered.

“ _You_ _promised_ ,” The other repeated, his anger morphing into sadness, brown eyes glossing over with tears.

Thomas absolutely hated himself. He’d hate himself a lot more if something were to happen to Newt, though. So before he could change his mind, he was walking out the door.

—

Thomas made his way through the secured facility to Jorge’s office where both he and Brenda were already standing near the door, awaiting his arrival. Immediately the older man was wrapping an arm around his shoulder and pulling him into the room, Brenda following alongside them. She was kind of the second-in-command in their department and managed Thomas on his missions.

“Alright, so what’ve we got?” He asked, scratching at the stubble on his jaw.

Jorge gestured for Thomas to take a seat before circling around to his side of the table, settling in his own chair. He pulled a file folder out from his desk drawer and slid it over to him.

“Everything you need to know about him is in there. Though honestly, all we’ve truly got at the moment is his identity. He’s been completely off the grid for at least a week and a half. I know that if anybody can locate and eliminate the problem, it’s you,” Jorge said.

“Aris is the one who figured him out. We’d sent him and Sonya out after a small group who revealed themselves to be some of Wicked’s new recruits. Said that this guy was the one overseeing them. Since then we’ve been able to gather a bit more information on him but we’re hoping you can do the rest. Find him, get what you can, then kill him. If he’s in charge of newcomers he’s gotta be somebody of importance and this is bound to make an impact,” Brenda chimed in.

Nodding in understanding, Thomas redirected his attention to the file that sat before him, taking a deep breath before opening it up. Everything inside him stiffened and froze. This had to be a mistake. He blinked a few times, thinking maybe it was his eyes playing tricks on him. It wasn’t. In big letters on the top of the page was **NEWT ROSS** with candid pictures of his boyfriend right beside it. He was going to be sick. He was going to be absolutely sick. He trusted and loved Newt with everything he’d had, and now he was suppose to kill him? Just like that? No, no, he couldn’t. There was no way he could. But that left another question — what the hell _could_ he do?

“....Thomas? Are you okay?” Brenda hesitantly asked.

His eyes snapped up to her, wide and threatening to spill tears. Suddenly a knowing expression crossed her face, seemingly piecing it all together in her head. The timelines for Thomas’ vacation and Newt’s last documented appearance in town matched up perfectly. It was a wonder she hadn’t figured it out sooner. It was clear she wasn’t going to say anything, though.

“Fine, yeah. I’ve — I’ve just seen this guy around. He always seemed alright to me. Just goes to show you never really know anybody,” Thomas shrugged before standing from his seat and shoving the file into his bag. “I’ll get to work right away.”

Brenda pursed her lips and approached the boy, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder. “I’m sorry,” She said loud enough only for him to hear. He stared at her for a few moments before storming out of the room.

—

Thomas wiped away his tears and composed himself as best as he could as he kicked off his shoes, his boyfriend being nowhere in sight.

“Newt?” He called out. Immediately after he regretted it, though, because his combative instincts kicked in and were screaming at him to use the element of surprise to his advantage and take Newt down when he was least expecting it. That was the last thing he wanted to think about.

He walked down the hallway to their shared bedroom, slowly pushing open the door with pursed lips. And there Newt was, sat on the mattress with puffy red eyes, tear stained cheeks, and wearing one of Thomas’ tees that was definitely way too big for him.

“Back already?” Newt asked softly with a sniffle, not even looking up at his boyfriend.

The whole drive home Thomas had convinced himself that he could keep it together but all of that was completely out the window now because seeing Newt brought out a whole new truckload of emotions. This was his boyfriend that he loved with all of his heart and he’d made him feel so insignificant that he’d locked himself in their room and had presumably been crying the entire time he was gone. This was his boyfriend that he’d been lying to for over a year. This was his boyfriend that had also been lying to him. His boyfriend that he was expected to _kill_ because he was involved with a corrupt organization _._

He hadn’t even realized he’d begun to cry until a strangled sob managed to break past his pursed lips, causing Newt to jump.

The blonde was staring at him now, eyes wide with concern. “Tommy?”

Deep down, he knew he should’ve turned and left. The last thing he should’ve been wanting was to be held by Newt. He was the enemy, for pete’s sake. Everything that had been going on was partially his doing. The mysterious murders, the security breaches, the robberies, everything. He was the head of Thomas’ current suffering but on the same hand, he was still the only person able to calm his storm. Nobody knew him like Newt did. Nobody could glue him back together the way that Newt could. And even if it weren’t for all of that, Newt was the only person that he had.

So instead of leaving, he found himself practically collapsing into his lovers arms. Newt gasped and tightly held onto Thomas, pulling him in as close as possible.

“Calm down, love. Calm down. It’s okay,” He soothed despite not knowing what the problem was.

Thomas shook his head, burying his face in the crook of Newt’s neck. “No. No, it’s not okay. Nothing is okay. I—I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to do,” He cried.

“Whatever it is, we’ll figure it out. I promise you that we’ll figure it out. I’ve got you.”

Newt carefully eased them down onto the mattress so that he was laying on his back, Thomas' head on his chest. His hands found their way into the brunette’s hair and he massaged gentle circles onto his scalp. It was something that always relaxed him.

“I’ve got you, I’m here,” Newt repeated.

 _But you shouldn’t be here. And if I do what they want me to do, you won’t be_ , Thomas thought.

Though the longer Newt held him, the more distant those thoughts became. Breathing in his scent and listening to his heartbeat made that sense of familiarity come flooding back. He felt less like a stranger and more like that boy he’d initially fallen for. The comfort that provided mixed with the exhaustion from the influx of emotions lulled Thomas into a deep sleep. And maybe, if he was lucky, he’d wake up in their hotel room to find out this was all just a bad dream due to the alcohol they drank on the beach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me vs never knowing how to end chapters: a saga. anYway  
> i've been bouncing this idea around in my head for a solid month or two and finally decided to write it so hopefully you guys like it!
> 
> i'd love to hear ur thoughts & stuff so i'm gonna shamelessly plug my twitter @heroicgay (i also tweet abt when i'm updating & post teasers so Yeah)


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning for some violence in this chapter! i know it's in the tags but i just wanted to let you guys know just in case.

    Notifications for dozens of missed calls clogged Thomas’ phone screen, all of them being from Brenda and Jorge, begging for a mission update. He hadn’t answered a single one. It was kind of pointless considering he’d already decided to himself that there was no way he could follow through with it despite reading through Newt’s file and knowing what he’d done and could do. There had to be a reason. There was always a reason, wasn’t there? And sure, maybe he’d never asked his other targets what their motivations were, but they also weren’t the potential love of his life.

Thing was, he couldn’t figure out when or how to bring it up. So far they were actually doing a fairly good job at carrying on as if everything were normal. He really didn’t want to ruin that. He wasn’t ready to give all of this up yet. And he knew that once everything was out in the open, there was no going back. Things would change. They would change. Confronting Newt was inevitable, though. This wasn’t something his superiors were going to just forget about. No, they’d come for him. They’d come for **them**. And maybe when they did, it’d be better if they both were prepared.

“You doing alright, love?” Newt settled down beside Thomas on the couch, wrapping an arm around his torso and pulling him in closer.

Thomas looked over to the blonde, the corners of his mouth quirking up into a partial smile. “Of course, yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?”

He shrugged as he let his head fall to the boys shoulder. “I dunno. You just seem like a bit of a space case today. Thought maybe something had happened.”

“I’m fine, Newt. You don’t have to worry.”

“What about your dad?”

“My dad….?”

Newt lifted his head now and was looking at Thomas with furrowed brows. “Yeah, your dad. You haven’t been to work in a few days and any other time you practically live there. I’m suppose to assume that’s normal?”

Thomas let his mouth fall open into an ‘O’ shape, pretending as if it were just something that had momentarily slipped his mind. “Right. Yeah, no, it’s normal. Kind of. I told him I needed a little bit less on my hands all the time because it’s important to me that I get to spend time with you.”

“Really? And he was alright with that?” He asked in disbelief, eyebrows raised.

“Well I’m here with you, aren’t I?”

So maybe lying was incredibly stupid but it was worth it for the way that Newt’s face lit up. He was ecstatic at being picked first over his career.

“God, Tommy, I—” Newt cut himself off with a laugh, climbing into Thomas’ lap and straddling his thighs. His hands were cupping the brunette’s face. “You don’t even know how much that means to me. I can’t begin to tell you. Words can’t cover it. Seriously. I love you so fuckin’ much. I feel like my heart is gonna jump out of my bloody chest.”

Thomas had his hands resting on Newt’s hips, fighting off the urge to kiss him in favor of soaking up the happiness and love radiating between them. It was completely pure. How could he live with himself if he were the one to taint that? To let it crumble and slip between their fingers? Especially knowing what the both of them had been through to reach this point in their lives.

“I love you too, Newt. With everything I have and everything that I am,” He replied sincerely.

Newt was the one to initiate the kiss. As much as Thomas enjoyed kissing him, it was kind of strange the shift in mood it always brought. See, Newt was like a walking flame. Everything he did was generally intense but that seemed to dial up to a thousand whenever they made physical contact, so the sweetest moments could become sinful in a matter of seconds. Like, Thomas was one hundred percent expecting to have his clothes ripped off and be bent over the couch any moment now.

Surprisingly enough, the blonde broke the kiss off with an apologetic smile. “Sorry. I don’t want to start something that we can’t finish.”

The brunette smiled back, brushing their noses together with a small chuckle. “Not like you’ve exactly been depriving me of sex. Though I am kind of curious as to why we wouldn’t be able to finish.”

Something in Newt’s expression shifted but he quickly recovered, brushing off whatever had crossed his mind.

“I’ve gotta get to the store. Food is kind of important, you know. And….we’re out of eggs. Heaven knows you’d probably die if you didn’t get to have scrambled eggs with cheese for breakfast every day.”

Thomas couldn’t help but laugh. Yeah, that was definitely true. It wasn’t a good morning if he didn’t have eggs with cheese and it wasn’t a great morning if he didn’t have eggs with cheese _plus_ Newt at his side. Bonus points if they were in bed, warm bodies tangled as the light from the sunrise seeped in through the venetian blinds.

He kissed the space between Newt’s eyes before lightly smacking the side of his thigh. “Alright, get out of here. Make healthy grocery decisions.”

“So, what, two cheesecakes?” Newt grinned as he got up and began gathering his bag.

“Ugh, you know me so well,” Thomas groaned.

Shaking his head, Newt ruffled Thomas’ hair before heading out the apartment door.

He huffed out a sigh when the other was gone and grabbed the television remote, powering it on and flicking through the guide of programs to watch. Eventually he decided on some poorly produced action movie that was surprisingly intriguing despite all of its tackiness. Twenty minutes into it, he found himself reaching for a nonexistent snack plate.

“Ah, shit,” He mumbled as he quickly ran into the kitchen, not wanting to miss anything that could be potentially plot altering. He set a plate on the counter and opened the fridge, reaching for some leftovers from the previous nights dinner when a carton of eggs caught his attention. That was odd. Hadn’t Newt said they were all out?

That’s when it all hit him. Sure, he could’ve simply forgotten, except he’d been the one who made their breakfast and lunch. He _knew_ what was in the kitchen. He always kept track of that kind of stuff because Thomas was either too busy or just downright forgetful. Maybe it was a dumb conclusion to come to from something as simple as eggs, but this had to be a work outing. And he let himself get too blinded by feelings and a false reality to realize it.

“Please don’t be doing anything stupid,” Thomas plead aloud despite the fact that Newt obviously wasn’t around to hear him.

If he was actually out and about, there was no way Brenda didn’t have eyes on him. She had to be waiting for the right moment to do what Thomas had been avoiding.

He slammed the fridge shut and went into their bedroom to retrieve his work phone. As expected, there were more missed calls from the girl. He quickly dialed her number and held the device to his ear, cursing to himself.

“Where is he?” Thomas snapped as soon as the call was picked up.

“You know, we were starting to think something happened to you,” Brenda replied, irritation clear in her voice.

“Don’t care. Where is he? Where’s Newt?” He questioned again, urgency in his voice and fear flowing through his veins.

“We’ve got Aris out tracking him. We think he’s in that abandoned building right off Green Street. You know, you wouldn’t have to be calling and asking if you just completed your mission. You two sleep in the same bed, for pete’s sake. You’ve had plenty of opportunities.”

“I don’t wanna fucking hear it, Brenda. Tell Aris to get the hell out of there. I’m on my way.”

——

Thomas cautiously entered the abandoned warehouse, gun drawn as he surveyed the area. If Newt and Aris were actually here then it was far too quiet for his liking. In this field, silence was never a good thing. Silence usually either meant that somebody was dead or that they were about to be. He hoped for neither.

He ventured deeper inside and made sure to keep a close eye out for any clues that might be lingering around, though the lack of windows made it nearly impossible to see much of anything.

Eventually he came across a door that was partially open which instantly sent his senses into high alert. So he definitely wasn’t alone. He raised his gun a little bit higher and hesitantly entered the new room.

_No._

His brown eyes glossed over with tears when he saw the pool of blood on the ground, leading up to a body that lay turned away from him. From behind it looked exactly like Newt.

Crouching down beside the male figure and turning him onto his back to see his face made a wave of sickness fall over him. It wasn’t Newt. It was Aris. There was a gunshot wound in the center of his chest and no sign of life in those bright blue eyes.

Aris had always been such a good friend to him. They went through training together and have been partnered on a couple of missions. He was one of the smartest workers they had due to how resourceful he was and the fact that he could figure out an entire case with the littlest amount of information. Not to mention how compassionate and real he was. Thomas could only hope that he would’ve understood why he wasn’t able to harm Newt.

Thomas brushed his hand over Aris’ face to close his eyes and pursed his lips to suppress a sob.

_"I’m sorry I couldn’t save you,"_ He thought, " _But_ _I can save others."_

He pushed himself up off the ground and proceeded deeper into the room, finding a hallway that he immediately went down. At the end of it was a smaller room filled with tables and papers that Newt was quickly working to pack up. He seemed completely oblivious to the fact that he was no longer alone. Big mistake.

He didn’t know what came over him. Maybe it was the fact that Newt’s victim list now contained a name he recognized. The name of someone he was close to. Maybe it was the fact that now, things had gotten personal in a way they weren’t before.

Either way, before he could stop himself, Thomas was storming across the room and securing an arm around the blonde, pressing the gun against his temple.

Newt’s breath hitched and his body stiffened.

“....Tommy?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aris sweetie i'm so sorry you deserved better but a tough decision had to be made for the sake of the story
> 
> i'm so so sorry that this took so long! i hope you guys enjoyed! ily and thanks for reading!
> 
> as always, i'd love to hear ur thoughts & stuff so feel free to hmu on twitter @heroicgay (i also tweet when i'm updating & post teasers)


	3. Chapter 3

     “Tommy?”

As soon as the nickname fell from Newt’s lips, Thomas found his hold on the male weakening. It was enough for him to break completely free of his grip and spin around so fast it should’ve been dizzying.

“It is you…” Newt said breathlessly, shaking his head with his brows furrowed together, clearly struggling to get a grasp on the situation. “You—you’re part of The Right Arm?”

Thomas couldn’t find it in him to speak. His jaw clenched as he gripped the gun, index finger resting near the trigger.

_Pull it. Don’t think. Don’t make it personal. Never make it personal._

His finger inched closer. If he were just to curl it and press down, it would all be over. Quick and nearly effortless, just as he’d been trained.

“Tommy. _Thomas_. Put down the gun. We can figure this out,” The blonde practically begged.

Part of him wanted to listen. To believe it. But he wasn’t sure that was something he could afford to do. He thought maybe it was possible at first but now he knew it was a foolish hope. Aris was dead because he couldn’t find it within himself to complete this mission. Soon, the others would be dead, too. Maybe even he would be. After all, there was no way Newt would just let this go knowing that Thomas was given the task of putting a bullet straight through his skull and could at any given moment. He’d have to be crazy to move on from this.

 “I have my orders,” He replied simply.

Determined to calm the situation, Newt stepped forward with his hands raised slightly in what one could naturally assume was a surrender.

“I have mine too. But I haven’t got a weapon pointed at you. So, please?”

Thomas laughed sourly. “If you thought you could without getting taken out, you would. Don’t pretend that you wouldn’t. I know how this works.”

To look at Newt, you’d think he’d just been slapped. “Is that really what you think? You think I’d hurt you? Everything I’m doing and everything I’ve done has been to keep you safe. And if you’d just give me time, I could show you all of that.”

“So killing Aris — killing my friend is keeping me safe? That really the twisted mentality you’ve gotten?”

“Come on, don’t be ridiculous. I didn’t know he was your friend. I didn’t even know you were on their side, Tommy.”

“Alright. So if you knew he was my friend, would you still have killed him?”

“If he were still going to kill me? Without a doubt.”

“And what about me?” He scoffed.

“What about you?”

Thomas walked towards Newt, stopping when the gun rest perfectly against the center of his forehead. “Are you going to pull out a weapon and kill me?”

Newt let his eyes fall closed as two tears slipped down his cheeks. He let out a shaky exhale before meeting the brunettes gaze again. “Please don’t do this. I know you’re hurting and confused, but this isn’t the answer. Deep down you know that. You have to. You’re a good person, Thomas.”

“I’ll do what I have to do,” He replied simply. Something inside of him was begging himself to stop this but the instincts he’d acquired on the job were kicking in and shutting it out.

“We’re supposed to be a team. You’re supposed to love me.”

That felt like a punch to the gut. Supposed to love him? He did love him. He loved him with everything he’d had. Didn’t he know that? Then again, he supposed it could be pretty easy to doubt that when he had a killing device pressed against his skull.

“You don’t want to do this. I can tell you don’t,” Newt continued quietly, though now he seemed a little more unsure of that fact.

Thomas’ grip on the gun was beginning to loosen, his resolve slowly cracking. Of course he didn’t _want_ to do this. But was it even about want anymore? At this point it felt beyond him.

“I’ll do what I have to do,” He repeated in an attempt to convince himself further.

“Does that guy really mean more to you than I do? Because clearly you’ve known about this for longer than today and you did nothing about it. We’ve been carrying on like perfectly normal. Hell, two hours ago I was in your lap kissing you and you were telling me you loved me. Now you’re holding a fucking gun to my head like I’m nothing. Like I’m just another mission.”

Thomas doesn’t know where he got the courage to say it, especially when he _knew_ he didn’t mean it, but before he could stop himself, it was out.

“You are just another mission.”

Newt’s eyes widened a fraction and he pursed his lips together to seemingly suppress a cry. It was obvious just how much that statement broke him to hear.

“Then finish it. Finish your mission, if it means that much to you. If that’s all I am to you now. Because I can’t fight you. I _won’t_. And I can’t do this if we’re not in it together. I don’t want to be on different sides, Tommy. I love you too much for that. You’re the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. So….so I guess if someone is gonna take me out, it’s fitting that it be you.”

Apparently that was the shove that Thomas needed because he found himself breaking completely. The pistol dropped from his hand, the crash of it hitting the concrete floor echoing all around them. Newt let out a cry of relief as he was pulled in to Thomas’ chest.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, I love you,” Thomas sobbed, clinging onto the blonde. He knew he didn’t deserve to be holding him. He didn’t deserve to have him in his life at all after this, if he were to be completely honest with himself. And he’d be incredibly lucky if he did.

Newt buried his face in the male’s neck, mumbling out a string of incoherent words before falling back into silence. It stayed that way for a few minutes longer until the rush of the previous moments had died down and their emotions were more intact. Then they were pulling away from each other. Thomas wore an unsure expression, whereas Newt just looked hurt.

“I do love you, Thomas,” Newt began, wiping away a stray tear, “but I don’t forgive you. I — you could’ve killed me, you know that? You were completely ready and willing to put a bullet straight between my eyes. And I can’t just pretend that’s fine because it’s not. Nothing about that is fine. If the roles were reversed, I never would’ve done that. So, maybe you’re not the good guy that I thought you were. And maybe you don’t love me as much as you let on. If you did, I wouldn’t have had to convince you to let me go. There wouldn’t even have been a need for me to.”

Thomas’ face fell into a frown and when he reached out a hand to grab onto Newt again, the blonde gently took hold of his wrist and shoved it back down to his side.

“What are you saying?” Thomas managed to choke out.

“I’m saying that maybe you need some time so you can figure out where you stand and if The Right Arm is actually a good place for you. I mean, are you really okay with brushing aside human emotion and mindlessly killing people just because someone told you to when you don’t even have all the facts? Are you okay with somebody else doing all the thinking for you? Just consider that for a moment. If I hadn’t been able to get under your skin, this would be a different scene right now. I’d be lifeless in a pool of blood and—hell, I don’t even know if you would be crying for me.”

“I would be crying for you, Newt, if that were the situation. But it isn’t. Come on. I just — I don’t know what I was thinking. You’ve got it wrong, though. I’m not some monster. I’m not just mindlessly killing people. Everyone I’ve killed has done something horrible. You—”

“Me? No, no, don’t you even start on that. You _are_ mindlessly killing innocent people. Don’t you dare try to turn this around on me when you clearly don’t even know what the hell you’ve got yourself involved in. You’ve got everything wrong.”

“What are you talking about?”

Rolling his eyes, Newt walked around behind Thomas to a table still partially covered in files. He flicked through the pile before pulling out a couple of folders and handing them to the brunette.

“Give those a read and let me know how you feel about your job afterwards, yeah?” He said as he stuffed the remaining files into his bag and slung it over his shoulder. His eyes scanned over the boy, considering his next move. When he realized his gaze had been lingering on Thomas’ lips perhaps a fraction longer than they should’ve, he pursed his lips together and ducked his head.

“What are you going to do now?” Thomas hesitantly questioned.

“When you’re done reading everything in those files, you’ll know what’s going on and where to find me,” He replied simply before turning on his heel and disappearing out the door.

What the hell was that supposed to mean? With a sigh, his eyes fell to the small stack of folders in his hands. As he read the main heading on the first folder, he immediately felt his curiosity grow.

**PART ONE: THE WICKED TRUTH.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yikes okay i ended that horribly bUT oof plot twist perhaps ???  
> things are going to get quite interesting in the coming chapters and there's a good chance nothing is what you think  
> as always, i'd love to hear ur thoughts & stuff so i'm gonna shamelessly plug my twitter @heroicgay !


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